Love for Love's Sake - Chapter 18
Chapter 18
I thought of the friend candidates for Cha Yeowoon at this point. Ahn Gyeonghun, Cheon Sangwon…It was ambiguous. Ahn Gyeonghun seemed kind-hearted, but I felt like I needed to protect him, and as for Cheon Sangwon…let’s not talk.
“Senior is acting like you’re my guardian.”
It wasn’t entirely wrong, so I awkwardly scratched my cheek and put away the dishes. Cha Yeowoon, who was cleaning up the table after me, suddenly asked.
“Is senior’s Mom and Dad still alive?”
It was a sudden topic of conversation. His tone was crude considering the sensitive nature of the question.
I pondered for a moment on how to respond. I originally thought both of them had passed away by the time I was 19, but I later found out that it wasn’t true.
“Just my Mom.”
I spoke the truth. Cha Yeowoon nodded and fell silent for a moment.
“I only have my Dad. My Mom ran away and I heard she died.”
“…”
“If she was going to run away, she should’ve gone far away. It was unbelievable how close she actually lived.”
“My Mom too.”
I said it without thinking. The setting sun that hung over Cha Yeowoon’s profile as I listened to his words was strangely fragile and somber.
After washing the dishes and shutting off the tap, water dripped from my damp fingertips. Cha Yeowoon dried my hands with a dry towel.
“Is senior’s Mom also living nearby?”
“She ran away.”
In that regard, Cha Yeowoon and I had similar backgrounds, like mirror images.
“I wanted to run away too.”
Cha Yeowoon laughed.
“When I was first encouraged to run. I ran across the schoolyard like crazy. I was so frustrated.”
“…”
“But is it possible to run away? A 15-year-old. No matter how fast you run, no matter how many laps you go around the schoolyard…you won’t be able to.”
I understood why Cha Yeowoon was faster than his peers.
He was just more determined than anyone else on that track.
“Who would want to be friends with someone like that?”
I couldn’t rashly say anything.
“Why not?”
I couldn’t do it myself either, but I was good at talking.
“We’re wearing the same school uniform going to the same school, but they’re completely different from me.”
That was right. They couldn’t understand me, and I couldn’t understand them.
“But sometimes there are children who want to be friends. Even among the track and field team, there are children who talk to me because I’m good at running. But what do I talk to them about?”
“…”
“Talk about my Grandma’s nursing care? My worries about rent? Whether I should keep my Mom and Grandma in the same funeral hall?”
“…”
“What about senior?”
I had spent my life arguing with the world and beating up those who argued with me.
Instead of answering and saying that my 19-year-old self was even more pathetic than Cha Yeowoon, I hugged him.
In my arms, he stiffened. The awkwardness was felt, but I hugged him even tighter.
“Like this.”
Thanks to my growth spurt in high school, I was quite tall, but Cha Yeowoon was of similar height, so our heads were very close when I held him.
Cha Yeowoon, who had been enduring all this time, suddenly relaxed and buried his head against my shoulder.
His hair brushed against my neck. I could hear his slow and heavy breathing.
The room, already dim, slowly grew even darker.
“Yeowoon.”
“..Yes.”
There was a crack in the slow reply.
Cha Yeowoon’s heart beat against my chest. His heartbeat, which had traveled down his back, was felt by my arm. This young heart…
He didn’t push me away.
“But if there’s no light, how are we going to wash up?”
I asked with a serious tone, which didn’t match the mood.
Perhaps taken aback, Cha Yeowoon belatedly burst into laughter.
I like the sound of his laughter, so I let it be. I felt compelled to do so.
* * *
“Why did you say you would sleep over at my home if you’re so scared of the dark?”
“Even people who aren’t really scared of the dark are afraid to shower with the lights off.”
“That’s true, but why do you take a shower with the door open?”
Sheesh. Cha Yeowoon snorted and lit a candle.
As the candle flame flickered, a soft crimson light spread. Cha Yeowoon’s features that were hidden in the darkness became visible.
“But this is all we have at home.”
“One is enough.”
“Isn’t it dark?”
“We’re going to sleep anyway.”
Cha Yeowoon and I were in the living room, lying on our stomachs side by side with two blankets. It felt like a school trip. Though, the actual school trips I had been on didn’t hold any particularly fond memories.
“We have to blow it out before sleeping. It could cause a fire.”
“When will senior go to sleep?”
“When you do.”
“…”
“Why, what’s the matter?”
“You made it sound like you’re putting a child to sleep…”
Although Cha Yeowoon sounded like he was grumbling, his tone didn’t seem to express much displeasure.
It was neither a positive nor negative favorability, but he seemed to tolerate me quite well right now.
Well, what should I call it?