Love for Love's Sake - Chapter 40
Chapter 40
My grandmother only greeted me with words. Coming out the door to welcome me, asking if I had a good day, and stroking my back lovingly was a distant affection between us grandmother and grandson.
In the past, I had felt it to be regrettable. Perhaps she considered me a nuisance and was only taking care of me out of obligation.
“You haven’t slept.”
As I entered my grandmother’s room, I saw her lying with her body turned toward the wardrobe. Despite clearly knowing I had just entered, she didn’t look back.
“The sound of you coming in woke me up.”
“It’s because the door is too old. It creaks even if I open it carefully.”
“I should just break down this dilapidated house and rebuild it.”
“Why would you break it down? You have a bad back. The house is going to break grandma.”
The conversation continued in a trivial manner. I took out what was in the bag I had brought and placed it in front of my grandmother.
“This.”
The prize sharpshooter Cha Yeowoon had won. Before my grandmother, who was reading the packaging, had a chance to say anything, I struck first.
“Grandma, I saw Mom today.”
Although I only saw my grandmother’s back, I could feel her stiffening.
“What did your Mom say?”
I thought she would be angry and scold me for going there, but she asked in a strangely calm manner.
“To be honest, I couldn’t even greet her. It was a cafe. I just went in and came out.”
“I see.”
“Has Mom ever asked about me?”
My grandmother remained silent for a while.
“I once asked her to come meet you…”
The whisper that broke through the silence was so small that it was almost like talking to oneself.
“Knowing how much you wanted to see her, I had asked her to show her face just once, especially now that her child had grown up a lot.”
As my grandmother muttered to herself, her shoulders slumped heavily. I had misunderstood until the age of 29.
She hadn’t hid my mother for her daughter’s sake. She had done it for me.
I desperately suppressed the trembling in my throat.
“Maybe because she’s busy working.”
I pretended like nothing was wrong, but my grandmother must have noticed my current state.
She slowly sat back down and held my hand. Her dry and rough hands were smaller than I remembered. Even after seeing them again, holding her hands was a first.
“Myeongha, people. When they experience painful moments in life, sometimes they try to cover it up and avoid ever looking at it again. It’s not your fault, and your Mom suffered a lot when you were born.”
Right. I had expected that. My mother didn’t want to meet me.
I could understand the feeling of not wanting to look back at painful times and not wanting to remember them. I wanted to understand. I had to.
If I didn’t, I would be too sad.
There were people I couldn’t see now that I had returned to my 19, but there were also people I could embrace now.
“Grandma, live a long life.”
I quietly embraced my grandmother. Her body, which had shrunk with the passing years, was even smaller than when I was a child.
My wish was for her to live as long as I was here. I didn’t want to lose her.
[ Mission: Make Cha Yeowoon happy. ]
[ Remaining Time: 262 days ]
[ Penalty: Death ]
Mission and reward expressed in numerical value as a goal.
What I had read was a novel, but no matter how I looked, the setting seemed to be that of a game.
Just as there was a conclusion to a novel, there was an ending to a game.
Here, unlike the me at 19, I wanted to do everything right. I wanted to protect the important things.
At least until the ending of this game.
* * *
I had been walking around all day, but I couldn’t sleep. I laid in my room, engaging in a staring contest with the ceiling.
To block out intrusive thoughts, I mindlessly counted the patterns on the ceiling. 121, 122. On 123, a call came.
“Isn’t he sleeping? Why is he calling me so suddenly?”
The only person who would call me at this hour was Cha Yeowoon. Seeing his name sparkling on my phone screen was comforting.
– “I wanted to hear your voice.”
“You’ve heard it all day.”
– “Senior.”
Cha Yeowoon cleared his throat. I wondered what he was going to say.
– “I can be with senior for a long time.”
The stains on the ceiling receded. I covered my eyes with my palm. I forgot about the numbers I had been counting.
I had always dreamed of it. A person who would stay by my side for a long, long time, like the affectionate families others had.
Cha Yeowoon was someone who could do that. I understood that about him.
But maybe I couldn’t
It seemed, by this time next year, I wouldn’t be able to be with him.
– “Next time, let’s go somewhere other than Jebudo.”
“Yeah, sure. Let’s go to the mountains or something. Let’s eat wild vegetable bibimbap instead of seafood.”
– “Do you like bibimbap?”
“I’m not picky about food.”
– “But there must be something you like.”
I laughed at his curiosity.
– “What do you like?”
It was an attitude of being willing to learn if I taught him. I hadn’t expected it. He had a strangely stubborn and sincere side, so my laughter subsided slightly as I thought that he might really be serious.
“Sujeonggwa.”
– “Really?”
“Yeah. I really like it.”
– “Senior has unique tastes.”
“Thank you. What about you?”
– “I don’t like sujeonggwa.”
“I didn’t ask about that. What do you like?”
– “…Sikhye?”
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