Love for Love’s Sake - Chapter 48

Chapter 48

“Did you eat breakfast this morning at home?”

Cha Yeowoon’s sharply trimmed jaw muscles stood out. Was he gritting his teeth just from being asked if he had eaten breakfast?

I knew why.

“Since you exercise in the morning, you should eat well.”

“I can take care of it myself.”

Cha Yeowoon continued to hold a face as if enduring something. Deliberately looking straight ahead, he was clenching his teeth so tightly that it seemed like his jaw might be hurting.

He was enduring.

“Don’t look at me like a child.”

Whatever he was enduring must have been intense because his pronunciation at the end was almost muffled. I decided not to tease him and say that only children would say they weren’t children.

“Ahn Sia says we’re like uncle and nephew when she sees us.”

“…Pfft.”

“Don’t laugh.”

“S-Sorry.”

I desperately suppressed the urge to burst into laughter. Originally, there was an 11-year age difference, so it might be roughly similar.

“I can take care of myself. When there was no senior, I always took care of myself.”

Cha Yeowoon emphasized stubbornly. He really did everything alone. I knew. I had watched him stand up on his own in much worse situations.

But thinking of that as mature was difficult. Doing everything alone was more sad than commendable. People who were alone had no choice but to handle things on their own, whether they were children or adults.

I knew because I had been alone.

“Okay. I understand. Still, if you need anything, call me anytime.”

“I don’t want to.”

Cha Yeowoon finally turned his head.

“Don’t make me like you more.”

I anticipated a somewhat irritated look when glancing at his profile, but when I saw his face, his expression was surprisingly damp.

His eyes were moist and his lips were trembling. It was like the cloudy sky just before a heavy rain.

As soon as he saw me, he quickly averted his gaze.

His gaze wavered beneath the long eyelashes. He pressed the stop button as if escaping.

I couldn’t catch him, who got off one station before the original destination.

Standing in front of the bus stop, he didn’t move even after the bus began to depart. It seemed like our eyes met briefly.

His figure became smaller and smaller. My palm slipped on the glass window. My forehead was pressed against the window until I could no longer see him.

[ Calculating Cha Yeowoon’s favorability. ]

[ Favorability: 37 ]

The message appeared without any hesitation. Cha Yeowoon’s feelings were revealed.

After suppressing and suppressing, he had come to like me slightly more.

My breath dyed the bus window white. The cloudy stain faded, spread again, and disappeared again.

I was also enduring it.

However, I questioned if I could endure it better than Cha Yeowoon.

* * *

[ Favorability: 37 ]

Cha Yeowoon was enduring.

Tae Myeongha had always managed to do everything alone.

When together, the surroundings shone and his heart strengthened as if they were in a different world altogether.

He would forget the original hardships.

Lowering his body, he took off his sneakers. Worn-out shoes were placed at the entrance. Picking up a green bottle near his feet, an unpleasant smell of alcohol wafted.

“Don’t leave the bottles everywhere.”

No response came from inside. Upon entering the room he used to share with his grandmother, a hunched figure was seen.

“How long will you stay?”

Only then did his father turn around.

Eyes like a reptile. Eyes without warmth. His father had been like this for as long as he could remember.

“Do you still participate in competitions or whatever these days?”

“Track and field.”

His father didn’t even know what his son was doing. He would probably forget as soon as he heard.

“Yeah, that. You won some prize money.”

The reply was apathetic. It only felt lively when the words ‘prize money’ was mentioned.

“Still doing that these days?”

The intention behind the subtly raised question was clear. His father tilted his head and waited for an answer. It was difficult to endure the cloudy and delirious eyes.

“I don’t have money.”

Cha Yeowoon slammed the bottle he had been holding among the recycling garbage. Fragile glass clashed as if it might shatter.

If it had shattered, it would have hurt. Despite knowing that, there was no feeling of caution. He roughly opened the garbage bag.

The home was overflowing with garbage. With his father’s arrival, the home took on a daily smell of alcohol and food, coupled with the odor of improperly discarded garbage.

As he swept the garbage into the bag, he emphasized what to separate and dispose of.

His father didn’t even pretend to listen. He was looking at his phone, his face colored by the light coming from it. Perhaps he was checking the horse race schedule or anxious about the sports bet he had made.

Cha Yeowoon tied the garbage bag tightly and glared back into the room. His words rose like nausea.

“You never came even when Grandma was sick.”

In the hospital, only once, really.

The one guarding the hospital bed was always just Cha Yeowoon alone.

When faced with the blatant accusation, his father, as always, clutched his toenails lazily. Cha Yeowoon immediately became enraged at such a sight.

His father did as he pleased. If he felt like it, he would disappear from home all of a sudden. There were times when he went out to buy chicken and never returned, leaving Cha Yeowoon and his grandmother hungry, and times when he promised to come to a sports event but Cha Yeowon ended up alone.

At some point, Cha Yeowoon began to hope that his father would never show up.

Nothing good ever came from him visiting.

“You didn’t even come to the funeral, and I took care of everything. Why are you here now?”

His grandmother had passed away, so he thought he wouldn’t have to see his father again.

As always, his father disappointed his expectations. He had casually entered the home where he lived and occupied it.

When Cha Yeowoon asked why he had come and when he would be leaving, there was only silence. It was questionable if he even heard anything he had said.

His father was an unreadable person when he was drunk. When he was sober, he was worse. Sober, his father was violent.

Cha Yeowoon’s grandmother had tried to keep him drunk. It was for his sake.

Because she didn’t want him to get hurt.

Now, it probably didn’t matter anymore. Cha Yeowoon carried the garbage bag and left. Waiting for an answer that wouldn’t come was tiresome.

Probably for money. That was a guess. Perhaps his father was hiding here with a debt from somewhere.

If he gave him money, would he leave? If he gave it to him and asked him not to show up again, would he disappear from his life forever? Thoughts pile up like dirt. His heart continued to hurt and rot.

After throwing the bag into the garbage dump, he climbed the stairs again. He questioned what was the point of throwing the garbage away if it was just going to pile up again. Instead of going inside his home, he sat on the edge of the rooftop railing.

Sitting with his legs out, his feet dangled in the air with nothing to support them.

The night view of the city was vibrant.

Spreading his fingers, colorful lights seeped through the gaps. Once gripped, only shadows remained in his hand.

Looking at the lively cityscape made him feel miserable.

He had always felt like an extra in the background.

A presence that couldn’t be the center, always ending up as a supporting role.

No matter how hard he tried to run forward, he couldn’t shake off the backdrop behind. He couldn’t win. Misfortune swallowed him in an instant.

His feet stirred in the air. The center of gravity was shifted downward for a moment.

Lowering his head and looking down at the distant ground, he strengthened his hands holding the rooftop railing.

He stood up from the railing. His feet dragged as he headed toward the front door. Then he changed direction, running down again.

Two feet landed on the ground. He continued to run from stop to stop, along familiar roads. Just like when he had run blindly to the home where his mother lived.

Walking and running for about 40 minutes.

Sweat poured down like rain. His heart felt like it would explode.

Glancing around the familiar area to Tae Myeongha’s home, he caught his breath. Up beyond the bus stop were roads that stretched like spider webs.

Far beyond the steep road was the house where Tae Myeongha lived.

He remembered going up this alley together the first time they met. Tae Myeongha was a strange person, telling the junior he had just met that day to come sleep over at his home.

The eyes that fell against the backdrop of the setting sky. The arms that grabbed and pulled Cha Yeowoon. Everything about Tae Myeongha was sudden.

Tae Myeongha.

Cha Yeowoon stood at the entrance of the alley, looking up at the top of the hill as if mesmerized.

Why was he so far away?

“Aren’t you Myeongha’s friend?”

Someone blocked Cha Yeowoon’s way. It was sudden, but he calmly stopped. Partly because the person was old, but also because Tae Myeongha’s name had come up.

The face looked familiar. It was Tae Myeongha’s grandmother.

“Hello.”

Cha Yeowoon greeted, bowing at the waist.

“Why are you here? You don’t live around here. Did you come to see Myeongha?”

Did he come to see Tae Myeongha? He nodded awkwardly.

He had come because he had remembered that he couldn’t endure not being somewhat close to Tae Myeongha.

“Anyway, that’s good. Carry some stuff for this old lady.”

Tae Myeongha’s grandmother briskly grabbed Cha Yeowoon. Like Tae Myeongha, she kept pulling.

By chance, she had to go grocery shopping, but unfortunately, one of the wheels on her usual cart was missing, causing an issue. She told Cha Yeowoon to go into the store and pick up various things. Full plastic bags were held in both hands.

By the time they arrived home, Cha Yeowoon was sweating again. Eggs, green onions, meat for soup, garlic, and onions. As he put the bags down in the house, he wiped his sweaty chin.

The weight of the garbage bag and these were almost the same, but these were much easier to carry. Imagining Tae Myeongha, who would eat the bubbling soup with eggs and green onions, the corner of his lips loosened.

“Uh, about senior Myeongha…”

“He’s coming home late these days because of work. You’ve worked hard; you should have a drink before you leave.”

Cha Yeowoon hesitated at the casual gesture but eventually sat down.

Tae Myeongha’s grandmother resembled Tae Myeongha. Like him, the expressionless face made her appear angry. Looking at her and being reminded of Tae Myeongha, Cha Yeowoon would involuntarily weaken. However, Tae Myeongha smiled more frequently and joked a lot more.

But even if Tae Myeongha was as blunt as his grandmother, he would probably have grown to like him.

Tae Myeongha’s grandmother, who had opened the refrigerator, took out a yellow can and placed it in front of Cha Yeowoon. It was a can of sujeonggwa that Cha Yeowoon would put on Tae Myeongha’s desk every morning.

“This…”

Cha Yeowoon hesitated in choosing his words. He had given this to Tae Myeongha.

“Senior Myeongha doesn’t like sujeonggwa?”

“He likes it. He brings it back all smiling, puts it in the fridge, and slowly enjoys it.”

Smiling. Enjoying it slowly. Cha Yeowoon carefully pondered over the words.

A picture was drawn.

Tae Myeongha put the sujeonggwa in the fridge, smiling happily, with several cans lined up neatly.

“Senior likes it?”

Cha Yeowoon confirmed again as he took a sip of the sujeonggwa. The scent of cinnamon stung his nose.

It was sweet and bitter. It was a taste that he had never thought was good, but now it was. It was so good that he couldn’t understand the times when he didn’t like it.