Love for Love’s Sake - Chapter 52

Chapter 52

In response to my doubt, Cha Yeowoon willingly answered.

“What?”

“…A kiss…”

Cha Yeowoon murmured softly. His childlike voice had become subdued and husky.

As expected, it was undeniable that I had made a significant mistake that night.

“We can’t.”

“Why can’t we…?”

“Stop talking in a low voice.”

“Okay.”

“And don’t try to make amends for it now. It’s forbidden.”

Despite Cha Yeowoon expressing his dissatisfaction and disappointment with a frown, he didn’t push it any further. Instead, after disposing of the can in the trash, he took my hand on the way out of the playground.

His hand was so warm that mine felt cool in comparison. I walked, hoping that my body temperature could cool him down.

Moderation…

Just enough so as not to hurt him.

I repeated it like a mantra.

However, when I returned home, my hand had become warmer than before.

* * *

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Cha Yeowoon was absent-minded.

He sighed while touching his lower lip with his index finger and recalled a sensation that had been lingering.

The sensation when his lips touched Tae Myeongha.

How does senior always smell good?

He wrapped her arms around his head. Tae Myeongha exuded a refreshing scent without the use of perfume. It differed from the body wash scent he had tried last time at Tae Myeongha’s house.

His lips are soft too.

People’s lips were soft. He had come to know that for the first time.

Is senior’s lips particularly soft?

Maybe. Tae Myeongha looked sharp overall, but had a surprisingly soft side. Maybe his body too.

His body…

Tae Myeongha’s…

Lips, neck, shoulders, arms, fingers, and legs.

Senior.

Cha Yeowoon’s eyes narrowed from inside his arms. An unsettling glint slipped across his eyes.

“Yeowoon.”

Cha Yeowoon sharply raised his head.

In response to his reaction, a middle-aged person with a gentle demeanor leaned back. A cross necklace dangled from his neck as he looked down at Cha Yeowoon. It was someone from the church.

“That’s quite the reaction. Did I startle you?”

“No. Not at all.”

“If you’re done with work, you can go.”

“Already?”

Cha Yeowoon looked around. The church was busy even in the morning on weekends. There were many people working, so in reality, besides carrying luggage and tidying up a bit, Cha Yeowoon didn’t have much to do.

“Still busy with training these days?”

“Same as always.”

“Seems like you’re doing well. Your face has brightened up.”

“My face?”

“Your expression has improved a lot.”

The church person warmly smiled, pointing to their own mouth. It seemed like more than just a passing comment.

“Everyone was worried since you went through a tough time at such a young age, but it’s a relief that you seem so resilient.”

As Cha Yeowoon walked with the church person, he paused for a moment. A bright voice continued from the side.

“Your grandmother must be watching over you from above.”

Was that so? Cha Yeowoon looked up at the sky.

A bright sun, a clear sky, and clouds flowing in clumps.

The thought that someone might be looking down from there didn’t cross his mind at all.

It was his grandmother who had attended church diligently. He didn’t believe in God. There had been too many ignored prayers for that.

“She’s always watching over Yeowoon.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. Because she loves Yeowoon.”

Love. Hope. Faith. Such words were attached to the cross-shaped building as if piercing the sky.

Cha Yeowoon still didn’t believe in God, but he believed in what was given to him now. That good things could unexpectedly come without any signs. And situations that seemed like they would never improve could.

He took out his phone and pressed the only number he had on speed dial. The call connected quickly.

“Senior, what are you doing?”

If it wasn’t for Tae Myeongha, he probably wouldn’t be here right now. At least not in this peaceful mood.

He remembered the sensation of sinking with every step since the day of his grandmother’s funeral. It felt like his shadow was entangled with lead, ready to trip him at any moment.

Despite walking the familiar path, he was stumbling like a person drowning, unable to distinguish front, back, up, or down.

But now there was a clear direction.

– “I’m currently delivering lunchboxes. You? Church?”

“I’m done. Are you going to the studio today?”

– “Yeah, I’m going. There’s an outdoor shoot today.”

“Can I come?”

– “I don’t know if you can. I’ll ask my boss.”

“Is senior the model again today?”

– “Yes. Probably for a while? Other models have difficulty finding time on weekend nights.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

– “What are you looking forward to?”

“Senior wearing pretty clothes.”

– “Yeowoon, did all the pretty things freeze to death? Well, the clothes are pretty.”

“Senior is pretty too.”

– “… ”

There was a sound of breathing quickening as if showing embarrassment.

What kind of expression Tae Myeongha wore was drawn. A clumsy, frowning senior. Cute, Cha Yeowoon thought.

Imagining it made Cha Yeowoon want to embrace Tae Myeongha so much that he found it hard to breathe. The tips of his fingers twitched.

– “I have to deliver the lunchboxes. I’m hanging up!”

The call was abruptly cut off. Cha Yeowoon sighed with disappointment. Tae Myeongha would quickly run away when feeling embarrassed.

[Ahn Sia] : You can come

[Ahn Sia] : Dating is prohibited on set during work hours

Ahn Sia permitted Cha Yeowoon to come and sent him the location for the photoshoot. She had been eager to help when it had concerned dating advice, but her attitude changed to scolding after the mood of Cha Yeowoon and Myeongha shifted.

The location was a reservoir park quite a distance from the school. The reservoir, brimming with water, featured small clusters of lotus leaves forming around its edges, while a picturesque forest path encircled it.

Ahn Gyeonghun and Ahn Sia were setting up the equipment in a space where wooden planks were placed toward the water like a ferry dock.

Tae Myeongha, wearing a trench coat, waved his hand at Cha Yeowoon’s arrival.

Although it was early July and Cha Yeowoon could feel the hot air as he walked, his internal thermometer would malfunction when he saw Tae Myeongha. All around Tae Myeongha, it looked like autumn in full bloom.

Cha Yeowoon’s sense of season and time became easily distorted when he was with Tae Myeongha.

Ahn Sia was standing next to Tae Myeongha and deciding the location and pose to take the photos. Ahn Gyeonghun, on the other hand, was adjusting his camera as he tried to capture Tae Myeongha well. Cha Yeowoon, next to Ahn Gyeonghun, suddenly spoke.

“Senior is working really hard.”

Always, in everything, Tae Myeongha put in a lot of effort. That was something Cha Yeowoon liked. Ahn Gyeonghun, who was listening, nodded fervently.

“Ah, ehm. M-Myeongha is like that.”

“Senior is really…”

“Awesome.”

“Cute.”

The words overlapped. Cha Yeowoon and Ahn Gyeonghun looked at each other in bewilderment.

“Cute…?”

Ahn Gyeonghun asked in disbelief.

Tae Myeongha was expressionless as he stood under the cold white light. He would follow the instructions, folding the cuffs and checking the length of his clothes. Perhaps because he didn’t joke or smile, there was an atmosphere that made it difficult to approach him.

“Isn’t he cute?”

“Uh, um… in what way?”

“He looks so shy.”

“…Myeongha?”

“Yes. He looks adorable when he’s all nervous. Working hard is cute too.”

Cha Yeowoon knew that Tae Myeongha had done several modeling shoots. However, he still seemed uncomfortable. When Ahn Gyeonghun heard Cha Yeowoon’s confident tone, he hesitated and didn’t say anything.

Throughout the shoot, Cha Yeowoon didn’t have much to do except help move equipment or position things, yet it was far from dull. It couldn’t have been boring when he thought about what he was observing.

“Let’s go.”

After the shoot ended, Tae Myeongha, who had changed into different clothes, approached Cha Yeowoon. Ahn Gyeonghun and Ahn Sia seemed to be taking more photos and would return with their driver. Although they had offered to give Cha Yeowoon a ride, he declined. He wanted to go with Tae Myeongha.

“Wasn’t waiting tiring?”

“Not at all.”

Cha Yeowoon answered and took Tae Myeongha’s hand.

After strolling for a while holding hands, Tae Myeongha withdrew his hand when they had circled about half of the reservoir. It was the same as last time.

The smell of water and grass hung heavily in the air. Tae Myeongha walked toward the water. Ripples glistened on the surface and reflected his profile. Cha Yeowoon clenched his empty hand. To him, Tae Myeongha was shining.

“Senior, have you considered modeling as Ahn Sia suggested? She says you’re doing well.”

“You’re saying that too? She’s just trying to lighten the mood. This is just a part-time job. Do you think it’s easy to make a living doing this?”

“So, senior, what do you want to do after graduation?”

Cha Yeowoon wanted to know. Despite having asked Tae Myeongha to teach him, he didn’t talk much about himself.

“Have you decided on a college?”

“…”

Tae Myeongha wasn’t the type of person who lived without thinking. On the contrary, he was so diligent to the point that Cha Yeowoon questioned how anyone could be like that, yet he had no plans.

The same went for grades. Ahn Gyeonghun, the top student in Tae Myeongha’s class, had said he was surprisingly good at studying. However, his test scores were mediocre.

There must be a reason. Cha Yeowoon grabbed Tae Myeongha’s hand again.

“Do you not want to tell me?”

What was Tae Myeongha thinking now?

“It’s not like that.”

Tae Myeongha shook his head. His movements seemed somewhat unnatural.

“It’s just that I’m not sure enough to tell someone else.”

To Tae Myeongha, Cha Yeowoon was just ‘someone’.

Like everyone else, he wasn’t willing to share his uncertain thoughts.

Cha Yeowoon’s steps inadvertently quickened. The pace lost its rhythm.

Although Tae Myeongha was passionate and willing to do anything for Cha Yeowoon, there seemed to be a distance between the two he didn’t want to cross.

“Are you going to college?”

“I suppose so.”

“Where?”

“Well. Seoul?”

“After going to college, will you continue living with your grandmother?”

“Maybe.”

Despite sitting next to each other, it seemed Tae Myeongha’s was preoccupied with something else. It felt like his mind was elsewhere.

Tae Myeongha was staring into the empty space. Although it seemed like he was looking at the reservoir, the more Cha Yeowoon focused, the less he could tell where he was looking.

“Senior.”

Cha Yeowoon stopped. Tae Myeongha, who was holding his hand, stopped a step ahead.

“What’s the matter?”

“…”

“Cha Yeowoon. What?”

A nonchalant face Cha Yeowoon couldn’t even begin to read.

Tae Myeongha was probably not thinking about him right now.

Cha Yeowoon pulled Tae Myeongha closer. As he tried to kiss him, he withdrew. Tae Myeongha was smiling awkwardly in the dim light. When Cha Yeowoon tried to kiss him again, this time he turned his head away completely.

No matter how close they had become, the feeling of distance still seemed to drive Cha Yeowon crazy.