Love for Love’s Sake - Chapter 79

Chapter 79

The train station at night was quiet.

Train tracks, which didn’t have safety bumpers properly installed, made onlookers anxious. A drunkard was precariously crossing the yellow safety blocks.

As I boarded the train and took my seat, Cha Yeowoon looked around with curiosity. The night scene rattled through the window.

“It’s my first time taking the train at night.”

“So it seems, my Yeowoon.”

“Don’t tease me. Has senior taken the train often?”

“Just occasionally.”

“Where did you go?”

The questions didn’t stop. Cha Yeowoon had many questions about me.

“There were times when I went for work, and there were times when I rode because I wanted to.”

“Have you always worked? What kind of work?”

“This and that.”

It wasn’t easy to list the various jobs I had done by the age of 29, so I glossed over the question.

“Does senior have a habit of avoiding answering when you don’t want to? Just saying, ‘this and that.’ That’s how you talk.”

“No. This is a habit.”

As I stroked Cha Yeowoon’s hair with my palm, his tidy hair became disheveled. His wrinkled nose was cute. Despite constantly being teased, he always managed to soften his expression.

Although I knew he would be disappointed, I didn’t want to lie. I tried to avoid talking about my past as much as possible, but sometimes it would slip out unconsciously.

Perhaps there was something I wanted to confess.

“I wanted to take you to the mountains, but it’s a bit much at night.”

“I like the sea. Since senior likes the sea.”

As the conversation shifted, Cha Yeowoon adapted accordingly. If I were to say I enjoyed taking the train at night, I didn’t doubt he would say the same.

“We can’t go to the sea. If we want to see the sea by taking a train at this hour, we have to go down to Busan, and then we’ll really have to sleep.”

“Just sleep and come back.”

I laughed at the quick answer.

“Have you given up on early morning training?”

“No. Lately, the training has been too much all of a sudden. I need a day off too.”

Cha Yeowoon said so naturally that it seemed he really meant it.

Despite knowing there was training and still bringing him along, I wasn’t in a position to stop him.

After about an hour, we arrived at our intended station.

The outside air was refreshing. As I looked around the station surrounded by old buildings, memories from my past resurfaced.

“This place hasn’t changed much.”

“Have you been here before?”

“I stayed here for a while.”

Back then, I didn’t want to return to the neighborhood I had lived in even if it killed me, and there wasn’t a specific place to return to. There was nowhere to go.

In the end, I settled near the area where there used to be a military base. It seemed there was absolutely nowhere to find my footing.

“Then, is this the neighborhood where senior used to live?”

Cha Yeowoon looked around eagerly.

Within the scenery of my twenties, now there was Cha Yeowoon in the world I belonged to.

My heart pounded. To hide my agitation, I led him to a restaurant. There were many roadside eateries for drivers around the old train station.

“Let’s eat something other than seafood this time.”

As we passed by signs advertising grilled fish and octopus, memories of Cha Yeowoon struggling to eat a meal in Jebudo resurfaced. Furthermore, I had a specific menu in mind to feed him this time.

“Do you have something you want to eat?”

Cha Yeowoon asked hesitantly, walking ahead of me.

“That.”

I had wondered what I would do if it wasn’t there, but the restaurant from my memory was still there. Under a lit sign, I pointed to a menu written in large letters.

Once we entered the shop and took our seats, the ordered food arrived quickly.

The Gukbap with bean sprouts and kimchi was spicy. The tangy soup, boiled like porridge, went down smoothly.

It was a dish that Cha Yeowoon’s grandmother, who was from North Gyeongsang Province, used to make when it was cold or rainy.

“My grandmother liked this.”

“She ate it when it rained. It has been raining these days, so I’m reminded of her.”

Cha Yeowoon didn’t eat the Gaengsigi; instead, he simply looked at me with his spoon.

“Why? Is it not good?”

I asked, worried that the food here might not suit Cha Yeowoon’s taste.

“No. I’m falling in love.”

A response, unrelated to the taste of the food, followed.

[ Calculating Cha Yeowoon’s favorbility. ]

[ Favorability: 73 ]

Cha Yeowoon’s words and actions were consistent. He was genuinely falling in love.

“Do you fall for someone just by eating now?”

“Love has always been independent of time and place.”

It was cute and funny whenever this happened. Cha Yeowoon would turn what would have been a cheesy line from an old romance movie into something simple and honest. He seemed unaware of how cheesy he sounded, making it even more genuine.

“How much do you know about love when you’re just 16?”

“I know.”

Cha Yeowoon adamantly denied my teasing.

So, he had always been sincere. It wasn’t something he had said to please me. It was his honest feelings and confession.

Was receiving love a matter of experience and skill? If I knew how to be loved properly, would I have been happy with his affection?

Maybe because I didn’t experience it in the past, every time he said such things, my heart would ache.

After finishing our meal, we walked, following my memory. The destination was soon visible.

A flowing river near the train station. A trail was created along the riverside, with a bridge above and the slope paved with stones.

Normally, there would be frequent pedestrians, but perhaps due to the rain lately, there were few people around.

As I sat down on a rock with protruding grass. Cha Yeowoon took a seat beside me.

“Is this also a place where senior came before?”

“Uh…when things were tough.”

When work became tough, I used to come here alone to have alcohol. I didn’t want to drink in a poorly ventilated room.

Also, here.

The riverside I saw from the hint senior gave me.

I came here to check with some uncertainty, but upon arrival, I became convinced.

Senior and I were here at this riverside when he asked me if I believed in fate.

Then, that meant I had known senior for a long time. This was where I had stayed after I was discharged from the army, so I must have known senior even before I entered college.

What the hell was going on? Doubt crept up my throat. At this time, I shouldn’t have known anyone other than those I worked with.

“What are you thinking?”

Cha Yeowoon shook his hand in front of my eyes.

“Thinking about alcohol.”

“But you said drinking is absolutely not allowed for minors.”

“Of course not. Don’t touch even a drop until you’re old enough.”

“Then why did senior drink?”

I wanted to say I drank and ate my fill because I was of legal age, but due to my messy past, my words were few. In hindsight, it was a deviation that didn’t help my life.

“Yeowoon, there’s a reason why adults tell you not to do what they say not to do.”

“…”

“Why, what?”

“It’s been a while since I’ve heard senior talk like that, and even after hearing it again, it doesn’t sound good at all. From now on, if I’m asked about my ideal type in an interview, I’ll just say it’s someone like an old-fashioned person.”

“If it doesn’t sound good at all, why is it your ideal type then?”

“Well, that’s true. Then can I just say brother’s name?”

“Hey.”

When I tapped Cha Yeowoon’s shoulder with my fist, his playful expression returned.

“Instead of alcohol, how about eating ice cream?”

Cha Yeowoon pointed to a convenience store just above.

“You really like ice cream.”

“It’s what I first ate with senior, so I like it.”

Every small detail had become a memory. It had only been about 100 days.

After watching Cha Yeowoon’s back as he ran to the convenience store, I turned my gaze back to the river.

I had been trying to recall when it was that I had sat here with senior and what else had happened, but I couldn’t remember at all.

It was senior who had sent me here.

If that was the case, finding out about senior might be a way for me to stay here.

My head throbbed. The fever that had barely subsided seemed to rise again as if it would boil my insides.

36 days was too short.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know 100 days was short too, but at least there were more chances.

That was my excuse.

Unlike when I had sat here, tired from work and just stared at the flowing water, there was no beer can in my hand. I clasped my empty hands together painfully.

To save 100 days, I had to part with Cha Yeowoon.

That was the condition the system had given me.

[ A. Restore the time remaining to 100 days,

Reset Cha Yeowoon’s favorability. ]

[ ※Regarding the procedure for resetting favorability… ]

It was like a manual to format a computer.

Breaking up with Cha Yeowoon, drifting apart, and forgetting in that order.

Reflecting on the messages that had appeared so far, I could speculate on the situation to some extent.

In the email, senior had said it was difficult because there were many things that had to be fixed. As Cha Yeowoon avoided a car accident and his track and field career continued, gaining more recognition, an error occurred.

This game system was trying to reverse the changes caused by me. The death of my grandmother and Cha Yeowoon’s injury.

Senior had said he had ‘fixed’ many things, but it seemed these two events went beyond what was acceptable.

Instead of giving me more time to stay here, I had to part with Cha Yeowoon, thwarting the changes.

I roughly understood the situation. But that didn’t mean I could accept it.

“Here.”

I thought Cha Yeowoon had bought only one ice cream, but it turned out it was meant to be split in two. He gestured for me to split it quickly.

“Oh.”

Trying to split it perfectly, it snapped, causing an awkward sound to escape the air. Now the sizes didn’t match.

“You have to split it slowly and carefully.”

“I did it slowly, didn’t I?”

“Wasn’t it too strong?”

“I think it’s just luck. I’ve always had bad luck.”

“Then I’ll give senior the bigger side.”

Cha Yeowoon took the smaller side of the ice cream from me.

“I’ll give my luck to senior.”

After that, Cha Yeowoon bit into his ice cream.

There was no sign of him campaigning at the loss.

It had been like this ever since he confessed to me. He liked me blindly–a love without reservation, like a newborn baby animal following what it saw for the first time.

He gave whatever he could without questioning its understanding or consequences. It was a feeling I had never received from anyone in my life.

I ate the remaining ice cream. Like the cream on the cake, the ice cream quickly disappeared in my mouth.

“If I got first place at the national competition, we promised to go on a trip together during vacation. I kept the promise.”

Cha Yeowoon shook his ice cream stick. At best, we were by the river near an old train station, eating ice cream. However, he looked excited as if we were somewhere special.

He didn’t seem to have the slightest suspicion that I might hurt him.

“Yeowoon.”

I wanted to call his name.

It was a name I had called countless times, but the pronunciation was sweet and heavy as it left the tip of my tongue.

“Cha Yeowoon, actually…”

I wanted to confess everything. What I was about to say might sound crazy, but I wanted to tell Cha Yeowoon why I was doing this.

When he stared at me, the secret I had been holding burst out. I wasn’t originally supposed to be here. I, actually…

“In fact…this place…because…I have to…”

My words stumbled awkwardly; the sounds didn’t come out properly. Although I had clearly said what I wanted to convey, it didn’t seem to be heard as if the volume had been lowered.